Thoughts
by Shakespearekitten
Summary: There were some nights when Armin just needed some peace and quiet


There were some nights when Armin just needed some peace and quiet. On those nights, he would either eat very little or eat quickly and say to his friends that he was just a bit tired and would retire early to his bunk. He really was tired, of course; there was never a day when he would exhaust himself from practicing the training exercises or studying. But he was mostly tired of all the noise and shouting and insults that normally occurred everyday at the training camp.

He would only leave for bed early because by the time everyone was sent to their bunks, the boys would still be rowdy and mostly still full of energy. Plus, he just liked some time to himself.

Armin climbed to his bunk and slowly laid himself down onto the firm bed. He folded his hands across his stomach and stared up at the ceiling, letting his mind drift off. He briefly thought about grabbing one of his textbooks and reading it, but remembered that he already read through all of them a few times already (so of course he was ahead of the class already) and he didn't want to think about _them_. _Them _being the titans, of course. He heard enough and thought enough about them during the day, through training and studies. He was in bed early to just relax, not to keep thinking upsetting thoughts.

For Armin, it was nearly impossible to just not think of anything at all. He was always like that. He rarely just stared blankly at a distance without a care in the world. He always had such detailed dreams and nightmares every single night for as long as he could remember (though reading before bed didn't help either).

So instead, he shifted on the bed to make himself more confortable and tried thinking positive and calming thoughts. Simple thoughts. These would usually help lull himself to sleep anyway.

He wondered what time it was and when everyone would start getting ready for bed. He thought about how early he would need to wake up in the morning to get a good spot in line for breakfast tomorrow. After hearing his stomach growl, he thought about how much he regretted not eating enough at dinner.

He wondered when would be the next time that he would have to trim his hair before it got too long. He tried to figure out if his voice would get deeper anytime soon. He wondered how much taller he would grow this year, if at all. Armin smiled to himself at the thought that maybe one day he would become taller than Eren.

_Eren._

He thought about how great Eren did in training today and determined he was to do even better. He thought about the way Eren's face looked so attentive as he leaned forward in his chair while listening to the teacher in class; his eyebrows furrowed when he wasn't quite understanding a lesson and his jaw would shift a bit when he was concentrating. Armin thought of how lovely it was to hear Eren laugh every once in a while, or see him smile.

He thought of how nice it would be to see the outside world with Eren. Someday once this war between mankind and titan has ended, that world will be open to them.

If they lived to see that day.

No. Armin didn't want to think like that. He couldn't. Even though he knew Eren's life would be in more danger than it ever has been before, he knew it wasn't good to keep thinking negatively like that. If surviving until the end with Eren was really only a dream, he'd rather keep dreaming it than come back to reality.

So that's what he did. He imagined how it would feel to finally walk outside that gate and not have to worry about titan attacks; to not have to worry about hearing the dreaded _stomp _of the monster's feet or see the horrid smiles on their horrid faces. Instead of feeling strong winds hit him and run through his hair as he flew through the air with the three-dimensional-maneuver-gear to escape fatality, he would now feel a soft breeze caressing his face as he simply walked away and left the ruined villages and cities behind.

Eren would probably recall their detailed plans during childhood to make a great escape together outside the walls and leave everything else behind, since Mikasa would never allow them to do such a thing and tell on them if she found out. They agreed they'd run away together back then, and Eren would now comment on how the whole idea sounded like some stupid love story. But of course, he would smile as he said it, walking hand in hand with Armin along the trail to a world that was unknown.

Armin liked to think of how life would be years later after entering the new world. He could see everyone working—constructing buildings instead of fifty meter walls. Everyone would be happy and filled with a new sense of hope.

Over time, maybe one day Armin would own a library filled with books. It would be a place where it would always be quiet and peaceful. He'd get to meet and know all the visitors by name and meet up with old friends as well. Maybe Eren and Mikasa would visit often and just chat about nonsense.

But something in him couldn't help thinking that Eren would become popular and definitely a hero among the town or city or the whole world for that matter. He wouldn't have time to visit Armin. But Armin couldn't stop himself from fantasizing their common encounters anyway.

On an expected or even unexpected day, Eren would enter into that library and find Armin hidden among the shelves, straightening books or pulling one out to read. Maybe Eren would sneak up on the blond and wrap his arms around him and with a soft voice that was almost a whisper ask him what he was reading even though he knew it was one of those books Armin liked to read over and over again. After getting a response from the blond, maybe he would nuzzle into Armin's neck and breath him in until he heard the book shut and felt the smaller man turn around to face him. Maybe Eren would smile at him sweetly, softly, and press his lips to his and—

Armin blushed and his eyes widened in shock at what these thoughts had become. Was Eren all he could think about right now? And why was he thinking of him…like that?

Before he could question himself anymore, he heard a door creak open and shut after a figure stepped in. Just one person? Armin didn't know whether to pretend to be asleep or sit up to see who it was, so he ended up just frozen as he was—his eyes glancing down and over to the door.

"Armin."

It was Eren. Armin's heart skipped a beat as his eyes made contact with the other boy's.

Armin watched as Eren made his way to his bunk. He lowered his eyes and sat up a bit as the dark haired boy climbed up to it just a bit, leaning against the skinny ladder to rest his arms on top the mattress.

The blond could feel Eren staring at him and felt a sense of relief when he finally spoke first. "You barely ate anything tonight. And this isn't the first time you've left the cafeteria that early."

Armin knew that Eren was concerned about him, but there was really nothing to be concerned about. "Nothing's wrong, Eren. I just wasn't all that hungry."

"Liar."

And sure enough, Armin's stomach grumbled again—which caused the blond's cheeks to color slightly and a laugh to escape from Eren. As embarrassing as this was, Eren's laughter and the overall situation somehow made Armin feel like they were children again. If only they could go back to that time.

Before Armin could ponder more on that thought, Eren reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small piece of bread and offered it to Armin.

"I saved this for you after you left. I knew you'd still be hungry."

Armin smiled at him, feeling his heart flutter as their fingers touched when he took the bread from him. "I…just came here early to think," The blond admitted. "It's quite peaceful here when the others aren't here."

Eren shifted and pulled himself up to sit beside Armin on the bed. Moments of silence passed before the brunet's curiosity got the better of him. "What were you thinking about?"

Armin's cheeks reddened as he could only think of one answer—_You._


End file.
